Home > Uncategorized > Wine Tasting Etiquette: From an Ex-Tasting Room Manager

Wine Tasting Etiquette: From an Ex-Tasting Room Manager

Don’t: pet the winery dog then bury your hand in the bowl of oyster crackers (in front of anyone).

Don’t: pour your unconsumed taste of wine in the water pitcher, use the spit/dump bucket.

Don’t: ask for each pour to be put in a separate glass. They are pouring you wines in an order for a reason, it won’t make a difference. Rinsing the glass with water in between each pour is silly, don’t do that either.

Don’t: take sips of your cold Starbucks during your wine tasting.

Don’t: wear perfume, it impedes on other tasters olfactory experience, most of what we taste is directly related to what we are smelling. Don’t wear deodorant either, this will add to the ‘funky’ smell of everyone’s wine, giving it a more Old World appeal.

Don’t: have long drawn out conversations with the tasting administrator and guests standing around about how much you LOVE the winery next door and visit them each year etc.

Don’t: use the cheese and crackers set out as a substitute for your lunch, especially after you have loudly proclaimed that you are only at that free tasting to taste, not buy.

Do: (if you like to be handled rough) get drunk and hit on the woman pouring your wine- she’s the wine maker’s wife and knows how to deal with brash, impulsive, messy, loud drunk men. Also, make sure to call her “waitress”.

Do: if the wine maker is around, try to come up with original questions that they don’t hear all day. Instead of “so which one is YOUR favorite wine”, ask how they feel about Obama’s new Health Care Reform and what they’re favorite flavor of muffin is.

Do: swirl obnoxiously while stick your pinkie up when you sip, put each glass of wine up to a white piece of paper, and blather on about the legs of the wine, how it needs to open up, and how you spend more money on wine than groceries; this will ensure the tasting room administrators and other guests respect for you.

Do: ask to “revisit” everything you already tasted so you can make an informed choice about which to purchase, start with the sweet Riesling and move to the Cabernet.

Do: ask if they will waive the tasting fee if you buy, if there is a case discount, if there in an extra one for wine club members, and if you can have the ‘industry discount’ on top of all of that. The wine maker is working full-time at a gas station because he or she likes to make wine, not because he wants to sell it for a living.

Do: buy the wine your wife wants… trust me, it’s best for all involved.

~All Content Written By Seattle Wine Gal

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. Big John
    April 7, 2010 at 7:50 am

    As I see it, the slant on this little article is geared towards men. Sluggish, brutish and without general grace…say “Miles” from Sideways eh???

  2. April 7, 2010 at 9:23 am

    Right on Barb, this is hilarious and the best humor is born from truth (and as a former wine slinger myself, I can attest to the accuracy of all of it)! I love it, wish I had written it myself… well done!

  3. April 7, 2010 at 9:38 am

    It’s good to see you blogging again (with actual words) Barb. You sell yourself way to short when it comes to your blogging skills.

    Humorous and witty, great job!

    Josh

  4. April 7, 2010 at 10:35 am

    I love the skip the deodorant part… If you can’t get funk from the wine, you might get it from your neighbor.. 😉

  5. April 7, 2010 at 11:04 am

    LOL! Thank you, thank you…seems so simple.

  6. winedudeonline
    April 7, 2010 at 12:50 pm

    Barb,
    Great post. Had me chuckling the entire time I was reading it.

    Kevin

  7. April 7, 2010 at 2:35 pm

    Careful Barb – Judy is the winemaker so if the women want to hit on me its okay!! The guys can find someone else 🙂

  8. April 7, 2010 at 6:57 pm

    Great post! Not sure about the no deodorant part. I like funk in my wine–not from humans. A few more tips–don’t walk away with the wine glass, and don’t walk around opening barrels.

  9. Joe
    April 7, 2010 at 8:46 pm

    stripping, air horns, speaking in tongues, greco-roman wrestling, taking body shots, techno-style dancing, personal grooming including (but not limited to) shaving, and doing the worm were all not listed as “don’ts”, so I assume they’re okay??

  10. April 8, 2010 at 4:23 pm

    hahahahaaaa!!!!!!!!!!! Love the part about dipping into the oyster crackers after petting the dog. This brought back a memory of an experience I had at a wine reception party at Dunham. As I gagged on the site, I nearly sprayed what was in my mouth all over the person in front of me. Instead, I choked… had to excuse myself outside while I was coughing and gasping for air. Then Maysy, the dog that was too cute for the gentleman not to touch, came up to me to see what all the fuss was about. Head tilted. Too funny!

  11. April 15, 2010 at 9:07 am

    Good stuff. I’ll be sure to keep that all in mind this weekend on our tasting adventures in Dry Creek.

    Mandatory reading for my party.

    Cheers
    Brian
    http://norcalwingman.com

  12. April 20, 2010 at 1:12 pm

    Cute, though I might have appreciated a serious list of “do’s”, assuming such a list could actually be assembled.

  13. susan
    April 23, 2010 at 8:11 am

    Love it! I would love to post the perfume/cologne/aftershave (men are guilty too afterall) “Don’t” on the tasting room door. No amount of fresh air can cover the lingering frangrance of the bachelorette party limosine.

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